Category Archives: Thoughts/Observations

Gift of gratitude

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Hidden behind layers of masks,  trapped beyond fears, falsehood and pretensions, inside the soul of some beautiful beings is this light. It penetrates and shines through their faces, it makes any place they walk into instantly bright, yet calm and under control. They glow from within.  I see the light and feel immensely blessed ‘cuz that is the most amazing gifts I think I have.  The ability to see and sense beauty in places where no one else seems to find any.

Beautiful people that inspire me on a daily basis

My co-worker sits behind me munching on cauliflower heads and whole bell peppers, carrots and tomatoes all day long. How do I know he is eating a raw cauliflower? I smell it!! Right. And since the day I turned around sniffing the foul smell and said, ‘Kev, what are you eating cuz it is smelling pretty bad here’, he has started being secretive about his eating business n he brings his cauliflowers in airtight containers. And I started burning scented candles at my desk!! So when he says, ‘Hey Joyeeta you smell anything?’…I say, ‘Yes, my candles!!’ 🙂 But seriously, seeing him eat from a bag of salad like it was a bag of chips, witnessing his major weight loss ( he was like 250lbs couple years back) has been pretty awesome. He now walks six miles a day rain or shine, has joined Tai Chi, is learning Reiki and makes the best choices possible for a healthier lifestyle including learning to cook gluten free for himself and his kids. And all this after he went through a tough divorce. It isn’t an easy thing to eat right, and exercise and smile when you feel like crap. But once you see the results of healthier living, he bets your body demands it. And then you continue to make choices that make you feel good. And then you smile!!

One of my wonderful dance teachers I have had the opportunity to train with is over the age of 50 (not that age matters!!), started dancing at a very early age and has trained in various dance forms including Ballet, Odissi and Bharatnatyam, maintains an extremely disciplined lifestyle, dances everyday, practices yoga without fail, goes into splits, including standing leg splits anytime without having to stretch!!! The best and most beautiful thing about her is that she wears such a genuine, beautiful smile on her face.

My TKD environment is a mix of all kinds of people and its not hard to get drawn to the ones with talent, commitment, dedication and hard work. These people are crazy about their diet, nutrition and exercise. They motivate me in many different ways. But what I love the most is that they wear an amazing attitude. They work out with their families regularly setting up a great example for their kids.

We train at the best Martial Arts school in the area (in my humble opinion), with one of the best Martial Arts teacher who is very young, has had a tough, disciplined life and been fiercely devoted to one single form of Martial Arts…. Taekwondo!! No matter what situation he faces, I find him cool, calm and controlled. No matter what life throws at him, he appears grounded, centered, balanced.  I am sure he is as normal as anyone else and gets angry, irritated, frustrated. And I know its not easy to hold up a controlled front like that when you are mad.

I know every time I have tried to, I have failed. When I am mad, I am mad. Even if I think am controlling my anger, my stupid face says it all. People come and ask, ‘Hey are you mad?’…and before I say anything they ask more determinedly, ‘Why are you mad?!?!’ That makes me even more mad!!!

I have seen instructors get agitated, impatient, angry, condescending. Or they just wear this ‘do not mess with me’ OR ‘i simply do not care’ OR ‘life sucks’ attitude!!!

Not Mr. Mota. I have seen him deal with a lot of crap with grace.

Not Mr. Stoffel either. He is pretty cool in his class.

And certainly not Grandmaster Robinson. I wish I had the opportunity to train with the Grandmaster when I was young and acquired some of the invaluable traits of Martial Arts early on.

As they say, it is not the problem that is a problem, but how you choose to react is!

These are people from all different walks of life and I am constantly inspired by the choices they have made, and continue to make for themselves and those they care about.  These are beautiful people, not just by how they look outside. Having a toned, sculpted, muscular body may help us feel good confident, proud, beautiful…but without a great attitude, a calm, controlled mind…. it’s like having a beautifully wrapped present with nothing inside it.

Burnt rotis don’t hurt, harsh words do…

Share the good stories ‘cuz kindness matters…..

Ex Indian President Dr. Abdul Kalam Says:
“When I was a kid, my Mom cooked food for us.
One night in particular when she had made dinner after a long hard day’s work, Mom placed a plate of ‘subzi’ (cooked vegetables) and extremely burnt roti (type of Indian bread) in front of my Dad.

I was waiting to see if anyone noticed the burnt roti. But Dad just ate his roti and asked me how was my day at school.

I don’t remember what I told him that night, but I do remember I heard Mom apologizing to Dad for the burnt roti.

And I’ll never forget what he said: “Honey, I love burnt roti.”

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy, good night & I asked him if he really liked his roti burnt. He wrapped me in his arms & said:
“Your momma put in a long hard day at work today and she was really tired. And besides… A burnt roti never hurts anyone but HARSH WORDS DO!”

Love the people who treat you right & have compassion for the ones who don’t.

Walk in Sacramento Midtown

The weekend before last, took a long mid-morning walk with a friend who works extra long hours including weekends. She barely has time for herself but chose to spend the morning with me, showed around the beautiful neighborhood in midtown Sacramento, a place I am not very familiar with. I have always wanted to stop and stare at the lovely Victorian houses but driving in downtown is not something I enjoy, and usually get in and out of the place as quickly as I can. We bought coffee, and walked leisurely feeling a crisp, mild chill in the air. And I absolutely soaked in the beauty of the place. We walked past a house that had an avocado tree in its backyard. There were so many different varieties of Camelia. Found out Sacramento is the Camelia Capital of the world.  The Magnolia flowers were blooming and were breathtakingly beautiful.  We stopped by one and just stared at how perfect and unique they were. Azaleas were everywhere adding such burst of color. We found scented geraniums and my friend gave me directions on how to make herbal concoctions. She wishes to have her own apothecary one day. The Japanese maple trees were blooming in pink hues.  There weren’t any roses in the rose garden at this time but the place looked really nice with an arbor placed for wedding events. We bought the best tasting muffins and scones from a local bakery…and walked back.

I had left my mobile in the car so couldn’t take pictures. Didn’t miss it.  Memories like this are etched in the mind.

Grateful for love

Love happens. The perfect man/woman walks into your life when you aren’t looking and you get blown away. Just like that your entire world turns topsy turvy. You lose the power to resist or control these feelings that take you by storm, and take over your life.

You slowly fall in love with the feeling of love…even though everything seems so uncertain, it feels beautiful to get drawn to someone completely unknown to you. Someone that walked into your life when you weren’t looking. It feels like being caught in a divine plan which seems to be playing out perfectly.

So does it matter that with time you come to know and realize things aren’t so perfect. The man or woman you found to be so incredibly awesome was perhaps a fragment of your imagination? They were your perception of how they ought to be. Certainly not who they are. Certainly not how they want to be.

So now do you feel caught in a divine plan that’s trying to show you reality?

So do you start questioning your judgement? Does your ability to take decisions about your life, and  people you want to be with seems threatened, challenged? Do you start feeling like a failure? get depressed? curse yourself for being naive, foolish, guilty, vulnerable? Hate for allowing yourself to fall in love as if you never were hurt before?

OR

Do you feel the same love and same racing of your heart every time this person walks in through the door? They just walk right into your heart like they own it?  Do you still allow yourself to fall deeply, madly, incorrigibly in love? (yeah I just wanted to use the word incorrigible!!!!)

And love regardless?

Do you realize may be that’s what the whole divine plan was about in the first place? To make you see that love stands above everything. That’s why you feel so elated when you are in love. Love takes you to the highest, tallest place from where you can see everything, it’s from where all things appear so beautiful, so perfect, so much in alignment.

So you now let go of your attachment with the idea of how a lover, husband, boyfriend, wife, partner, girlfriend should be? And you now embrace these very same people knowing who they are and how much you love them regardless?

And you feel ever so grateful.

The idea of childbirth and getting even with men is when feminism gets on my nerves

Like I don’t condemn any religion but find it hard to hold a conversation with someone religious without getting into an argument….I don’t oppose feminism, at the same time I don’t get feminists or anyone that supports the idea of childbirth being a battleground for women to get even with men. It’s childish to make a man’s presence in a labor room mandatory so he can feel the pain of a woman giving birth. No matter what you do, the pain of childbirth belongs to the mother and the child being born. Nature designed it that way. We should do what we can to ease that pain. If it comforts a woman to have someone by her side, by all means she should have an entire crew of people that she believes might comfort her or make her pain go away. But oh please leave the idea of making a man be present to see his wife helpless and in excruciating pain which he can’t do nothing about in order to make him feel guilty for what he did to her. It is sickening.

Childbirth is when a woman is most vulnerable and at her strongest, most courageous self all at the same time.

Kind of like when men go at war. They are exposed, vulnerable, afraid, hungry, may be wet, cold, sweltering but also their bravest. I have never heard a man say to his wife, you should come with me to war to feel the pain of a bullet tearing through my flesh so you can love me more.

Do I understand things differently I don’t know.

This whole pretension thing just doesn’t work you know…I don’t know how people do it. It just takes the life force out of me. One might wonder…


How hard can it be to pretend to be alone when you are not alone? How difficult can it be to see through the existence of another being completely and live on like you don’t care…? To what lengths can you pretend what you are doing is normal when nothing else has ever felt as abnormal? How long can you carry on without acknowledging there is a problem? What does it take to overlook the fact that you would rather be someplace else and instead focus…just focus on the bigger picture? What is the bigger picture anyway?

When one is so busy pretending to care less about the other, how on earth can one focus on anything but their own selfish self??? And how does it help anyone being in such an unhealthy environment?

If two people really have to pretend that they don’t care about each other should/can anything, like ANYTHING in this world bind them together?

 

(I found this writeup with some old drafts…it’s a rant from the time I was trying to revive a dead relationship. It’s funny how writing helps. It helped me then, it has helped me now to know this was how I was made to feel and this is why I quit trying!!! )