Category Archives: General

Beautiful people that inspire me on a daily basis

My co-worker sits behind me munching on cauliflower heads and whole bell peppers, carrots and tomatoes all day long. How do I know he is eating¬†a raw cauliflower? I smell it!! Right. And since the day I turned around sniffing the foul smell and said, ‘Kev, what are you eating cuz it is smelling pretty bad here’, he has started being secretive about his eating business n he brings his cauliflowers in airtight containers. And I started burning scented candles at my desk!! So when he says, ‘Hey Joyeeta you smell anything?’…I say, ‘Yes, my candles!!’ ūüôā But seriously, seeing him eat from a bag of salad like it was a bag of chips, witnessing his major weight¬†loss ( he was like 250lbs couple years back) has been pretty awesome. He now walks six miles a day rain or shine, has joined Tai Chi, is learning Reiki and makes the best choices possible for a healthier lifestyle including learning to cook gluten free for himself and his kids. And all this after he went through a tough divorce. It isn’t an easy thing to eat right, and exercise and smile when you feel like crap. But once you see the results of healthier living, he bets your body demands it. And then you continue to make choices that make you feel good. And then you smile!!

One of my wonderful dance teachers I have had the opportunity to train with is over the age of 50 (not that age matters!!), started dancing at a very early age and has trained in various dance forms including Ballet, Odissi and Bharatnatyam, maintains an extremely disciplined lifestyle, dances everyday, practices yoga without fail, goes into splits, including standing leg splits anytime without having to stretch!!! The best and most beautiful thing about her is that she wears such a genuine, beautiful smile on her face.

My TKD environment is a mix of all kinds of people and its not hard to get drawn to the ones with talent, commitment, dedication and hard work. These people are crazy about their diet, nutrition and exercise. They motivate me in many different ways. But what I love the most is that they wear an amazing attitude. They work out with their families regularly setting up a great example for their kids.

We train at the best Martial Arts school in the area (in my humble opinion), with one of the best Martial Arts teacher who is very¬†young, has had a tough, disciplined life and been fiercely¬†devoted¬†to one single form of Martial Arts…. Taekwondo!! No matter what situation he faces, I find him cool, calm and controlled. No matter what life throws at him, he appears grounded, centered, balanced. ¬†I am sure he is as normal as anyone else and gets angry, irritated, frustrated. And I know its not easy to hold up a controlled front like that when you are mad.

I know every¬†time I have tried to,¬†I have failed. When I am mad, I am mad. Even if I think am controlling my anger, my stupid face says it all. People come and ask, ‘Hey are you mad?’…and before I say anything they ask more determinedly, ‘Why are you mad?!?!’ That makes me even more mad!!!

I have seen instructors get agitated, impatient, angry, condescending. Or they just wear this ‘do not mess with me’ OR ‘i simply do not care’ OR ‘life sucks’ attitude!!!

Not Mr. Mota. I have seen him deal with a lot of crap with grace.

Not Mr. Stoffel either. He is pretty cool in his class.

And certainly not Grandmaster Robinson. I wish I had the opportunity to train with the Grandmaster when I was young and acquired some of the invaluable traits of Martial Arts early on.

As they say, it is not the problem that is a problem, but how you choose to react is!

These are people from all different walks of life and I am constantly inspired by¬†the choices they have made, and continue to make for themselves and those they care about. ¬†These are beautiful people, not just by how they look outside. Having a toned, sculpted, muscular body may help us¬†feel good confident, proud, beautiful…but without a great attitude, a calm, controlled mind….¬†it’s like having a beautifully wrapped present¬†with nothing inside it.

Grateful for love

Love happens. The perfect man/woman walks into your life when you aren’t looking and you get blown away. Just like that your entire world turns topsy turvy. You lose the power to resist or control these feelings that take you by storm, and¬†take over your life.

You slowly fall in¬†love with the feeling of love…even though everything seems¬†so uncertain, it feels beautiful to get drawn to¬†someone completely unknown to you. Someone that¬†walked into your life when you weren’t looking. It feels like being caught in a divine plan which seems to be playing out perfectly.

So does it matter that with time you come to know and realize things aren’t so perfect. The man or woman you found to be so incredibly awesome¬†was perhaps¬†a fragment of your imagination? They were your perception of how they ought to be. Certainly not who they are. Certainly not how they want to be.

So now do you feel caught in a divine plan that’s trying to show you reality?

So do you start questioning your judgement? Does your ability to take decisions about your life, and  people you want to be with seems threatened, challenged? Do you start feeling like a failure? get depressed? curse yourself for being naive, foolish, guilty, vulnerable? Hate for allowing yourself to fall in love as if you never were hurt before?

OR

Do you feel the same love and same racing of your heart every time this person walks in through the door? They just walk right into your heart like they own it?  Do you still allow yourself to fall deeply, madly, incorrigibly in love? (yeah I just wanted to use the word incorrigible!!!!)

And love regardless?

Do you realize may be that’s what the whole divine plan was about in the first place? To make you see that¬†love stands above everything. That’s why you feel so elated when you are in love. Love takes you to the highest, tallest place from where you can see everything, it’s¬†from where all things appear so beautiful, so perfect, so much in alignment.

So you now let go of your attachment with the idea of how a lover, husband, boyfriend, wife, partner, girlfriend should be? And you now embrace these very same people knowing who they are and how much you love them regardless?

And you feel ever so grateful.

A simple pleasure

…that of sending your kid off to school at the start of another school year is enormous, unmatched. Nothing of course surmounts the joy of seeing them graduate from…kindergarten, elementary, junior high, high school…and finally college BUT…nothing makes me happier than to get my children ready and see them off to school everyday. Why is it such an accomplishment, ¬†why such a big deal I don’t know. It can be that I am still carrying feelings from my past when each day – morning through night, was a challenge and any amount of certainty was a luxury. Certainty, that the next day would begin and/or end in a normal way. I mean, be certain in a way that I would know…what was coming next. But nothing was certain. I don’t remember going to sleep knowing for sure, I would be able to go to school in the morning.

God compensated everything that I lacked in life, by giving me hope.

Hope, I definitely had in abundance. I hoped the night would end soon. I hoped everything would be okay in the morning. I hoped I would come back from school to a ‘home’. I hoped I would be allowed to have lunch. I hoped I would be allowed to complete my school work, and/or to study for a test, or practice for a debate the next day. Hoped I would go out in the evening to play with my friend. I hoped I wouldn’t get back to the stink of alcohol and smoke, to a sight of tears and bruises, to an air filled with fear and apprehension…to another night of confusion and indecision.

Yes, for me school was a big deal. It infused life in me. It showed me miracles. It made me feel powerful. My mother who was utterly helpless in every other way, made available every possible thing that she could, so I could continue going to school and study. The only thing my poor mother couldn’t ensure for me was the certainty that I would.

Today after 20 years and with three children of my own, I seem to stand uncertain in a bizarre way. Don’t know how good or bad, right or wrong I have been as a mother, I just fear setting my hopes and expectations too high. Actually, I fear setting any hopes and/or expectations at all.

I have to admit, it was easier to hold onto hope, and never doubt myself when I was younger. Over the years, not what has happened but my opinion of all that has happened has eroded layers of trust; and the indomitable strength I had, it seems has suffered as a consequence. Sometimes I scare and upset my kids with either unexplained tears that come rolling down my eyes out of the blue or by getting agitated over things that they find irrelevant, unimportant.

I want to grow beyond (the stinginess of) my perception of how things should be, and how things aren’t.¬†I am trying to hold onto hope again. I hope to fulfill my duties, going out and beyond my capabilities.

God bless all children starting out a new school year, it still gets me excited and overjoyed thinking of the ‘smell’ of new books and copies as we called them, neatly wrapped in brown paper with names written in the best of our handwriting. The sight of the ‘new grade’ that sent a strange thrill down my spine…thinking of how close I was getting to being an adult !!

Today all my children are back to school and my delight knows no bounds. Hope the kids will understand their queer mother and her relentless concerns some day (when they will have kids of their own maybe?).

Just a quick note to myself –

“I am an infinite soul with infinite possibilities.¬†I am strong, healthy and perfectly¬†able.¬†I can do it.”

DIY project – Painting rooms

After much time spent on figuring out what color to paint Simi’s room, she finally decided on a ‘nice’ green. Hmmm…went to the store to pick a ‘nice’ green color that I presumed she had on mind considering the hours she spent on clicking through pictures of serene looking rooms painted with a serene green. Mansi pointed at a picture and told me to get exactly ‘that purple’ for her room although painting her room wasn’t on the agenda at all.

I got two shades each for the two girls rooms. Cost of painting two rooms under $150 including paint and tools. Not bad.

Wild Violet n Lilac Blossom

Garden Room n Shire Green

Started painting Mansi’s room at 8 in the morning (she wouldn’t let me touch Didi’s first)…did the walls with Wild Violet and trimmed with Lilac Blossom (painted the door also). ¬†The room was originally a cheery yellow which had lost all its cheerfulness…looked dirty as well. By 1:30 in the aftoornoon, the room looked bright and cheery and very girlish…! It turned out to be a pretty neat color choice. And after a back breaking adventure we both felt quite satisfied with our job…(Mansi helped me with the painting, prepping and cleaning!!)

Armed with some confidence and freshly earned skills, I started prepping Simi’s room. She came in at the right time too…and we had our initial jolt at the first brush of the ‘Garden Room’ (the nice green) applied over the ‘almondish’ original color. I was ready to cry. This didn’t look like the color above at all…I guess we should’ve used a primer. It was a jarrish green, nowhere near serene. On the other hand the ‘Shire Green’ looked much nicer painted on the wall we had wanted the darker shade on.

Now we painted all the walls with the darker green and and used Lilac Blossom (left over from Mansi’s room) on the wall originally meant to be a darker shade. Well, it’s not done yet. The ceiling is higher in this room and we didn’t have a ladder and all of us were dead tired by 10 in the night.

This morning it looked good enough…will need some time to get used to walking into a very ‘green’ room (the room leads to the back yard and the first thing I do in the mornings is let the dog out). Well, Simmi is always cool…she likes the color in a way. Not what she wanted but happy with what she got.

Going to get the room finished off…

Mid Life Crisis

can be a good thing.

If taken seriously it can lead to positive changes that can trigger a healthier lifestyle. What is mid life crisis to you?

To me, it is an awareness. A sort of an eye opener. It is like reaching the top of a mountain…a journey taken that has been tough, rough, challenging and painful to say the least. But hey, you made it so far…the first thing you want to do is pat yourself on the back just for that.¬†Remember, you are at the top of a mountain. Look down below…all the way down where you started your journey from. What, who, where were you? How far have you come?

Take the time to stop. Step back from your struggles for a moment. Breathe. No matter how successful you have been or how far you think you still have to go…open your eyes to the magnificent view in front of you. Let your worries dissolve for the moment as you look at the bigger picture from a wider angle.

Past mistakes and errors, fights and arguments, ¬†gains, losses, memories – good and ugly make me laugh and cry at the same time. I become aware of the lessons I learnt the hard way. ¬†I re-assess my needs and wants, my strengths and weaknesses, my strategies. What has worked so far, what hasn’t? What do I need to do differently? What should I let go? Have I accomplished the goal I had set out for? If not… do I still want to?

Would I rather pursue a dream I had to sacrifice in the past or take up something completely different, that I had never ever thought before? Did I ever have a goal to begin with? If not, should I start with one, now?

People change over the years. Experiences either toughen them and secure them tightly around their beliefs or make them wanderers fluttering to be set free,  set out in search for truth, unravel mysteries, break rules, make their own! It is important thus, to know who we are before we resume our journey down hill.

There is no harm in toying with new looks, careers, places, decisions…as long as anything we do improves the overall quality of our lives and of those close to us.

Mid-life is a gorgeous time…an opportunity to make right, what has gone wrong before. Climbing down the hill should be fun…let’s find the child in us while there is still time.

Finally understood…

Moving on, is to set free everyone I love; I being the foremost contender in the list!!

Misinformed, misjudged, mistrusted, being angry at self for causing pain to those who trusted me, displeased with my own biased judgements, I was stuck in an emotional rut.

Finding the courage to face and live through each experience magically opened new doors…new possibilities…new challenges never imagined possible before.

I gained an incredible insight to invade a territory that was largely unknown to me…that which I ‘thought’ I had ample understanding of.

In love…forever

Life is a summation of experiences. Ones that don’t seem successful on the surface, are ‘to be blessings’ in disguise…waiting to reveal their true purpose at the right time.¬†How can ¬†one ‘not’ love the mysteries of life?

The forever loving nature of our Universe,

reminds us to keep paddling through the roughest of storms;

encourages to ‘be bold, and take risks’ no matter how afraid one might feel;

assures to ‘keep our intentions good and our smiles preserved’;

ensuring ‘we never fail to fall in love’…

A mother is


a woman whose love for her child often stands between her duties towards her better half even when he is the biological father of her child.

a woman who is blamed, reprimanded, at times boycotted for consequences resulting from the actions of her child. 

a woman who is more than often held responsible and even openly criticized for her child’s behaviour, tantrums, habits that may not agree with other members of the family/society from the moment her child is born.

¬†a woman who with each passing day of her life learns something new about herself ¬†that she never knew before, like she is totally capable of ‘moving a mountain’ if she has to for the sake of her child.¬†

a woman who bids goodbye to her children every single time with a heavy heart and a prayer on her lips

a woman who no matter what happens knows well how to hide her tears and manage a smile for her child!

and more…

A Happy Mother’s Day to All

“If you love me because I love you, love becomes a mere trade.” – Jiddu Krishnamurthy

Asking ¬†for nothing in return, yet beaming in the joy of love…is an ecstasy that led Chaitanya Mahaprabhu and Meera Bai to sing and dance unmindfully in praise of their beloved Krishna. A mere thought of the person you love is all you need to feel the joy of love. Everything else is just a trade, a deal to feed the ego…