Treat Her Right – A Satire

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No worries if you are now a Canadian, or American, or British, Australian, Egyptian, Chinese, Ugandan, Crimean…doesn’t matter where in the planet you reside, if you’re an Indian man, these tips will always ensure a good marriage to a good Indian girl…:)

1. Never give in to your wife’s demands….well, if you have to, then make it look like it was your choice.

2. Never treat her with much respect, or love or adulation or appreciation. The woman will start dancing over your head man, are you listening….???? Indian women aren’t used to such things anyway. KEEP her in your tight grip. And make it tighter as you go along in your relationship. It will make your relationship stronger and your marriage last longer.

3. Never listen to your wife….OR…pretend like you are not listening. It keeps things fresh between you. She will always feel like she is starting fresh and has a loooong way to get where you will ever start listening. Eventually she will give up on her expectations of you….and treat you like just another object in the house she has to maintain so that it functions properly.

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4. Never do any housework…OR…wait an entire day or even a week to start. She will not have the patience to wait on you again…!!

5. Never explain. Anything. It is giving her too much power over you. Take charge and control over what she does, eats, wears, thinks, says…who she meets with, where she goes. You must protect her, and your family’s honor. Or else how will your children learn about honor and respect, huh?

6. Never let her do the thinking. You need at least one thing to do, right??? Or else she will soon start thinking for you…and you’ll feel useless for life.

7. And if she bothers you with anything else….show her who’s the boss. An occasional slap now and then has never hurt a relationship…in fact it’s been the most effective for years. Or shove her.   Oh well, just do what it takes to calm her down. Make generous use of your strong body. After all, you want to build a long lasting marriage…with a strong foundation, don’t you?

…and don’t worry, when a woman loves, she usually does unconditionally. So no matter what you do, don’t forget she will always love you :)

Picture Courtesy: Pinterest

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My Dojang

88da2833cdbedce30a5bf42c4c261731While growing up I had always felt safer anywhere but within the confinement of the four walls that was my home. As a young girl I wouldn’t have cared if a stranger had kidnapped and taken me far far away, I was so petrified of the man I knew to be my father.  Well all the fear I grew up with actually made a fierce rebel out of my shy, timid, mostly submissive nature. So then I grew up to fear less, and got shameless as per our conservative cultural standards, ‘cuz  a girl having a mind of her own is a threat to the common welfare of women in general and the place I come from is very protective of its women. A girl’s safety and honor is everyone’s business and most men and women will go to any length to keep their honor, errr girls safe.  Just that I have always had these major safety issues starting right with that attitude. Finding my way through life to a place “I” considered safe enough took me a long time but hey I finally am here secure, protected…at peace!!! Hey I am not lying…I do feel at peace at times okay.  And I am not in Norway. Or Sweden. Or on a Himalayan mountain top meditating. Or in an ocean front condominium stretching in some ridiculously expensive n skimpy yoga attire.

The safest, most peaceful I feel, is this place right here in my head where I do all my thinking. The most powerful resource man is yet to tap into. Its where all our fears reside if we let them…right? Well, I’m a rebel and a philosopher.

But this post is not about me. Its about this cool, amazing place other than my head where I feel absolutely safe. It’s in the company of some wonderful people, at Robinson’s Taekwondo Arden-Arcade…in Sacramento, California.

The first time I walked in there, a  young man in a white Martial Arts uniform walked up to me and introduced himself as Alex. He had this sense of calm confidence about him and was very soft spoken which is very rarely found in today’s youth. He appeared young enough to be a student but turned out to be the chief instructor of the place. I had been watching his students in class most Saturday mornings right after my dance class next door. Looking through the tall glass windows I would speculate whether to go in or not. My kids had been asking since long to enroll into Martial Arts. But…’It’s so expensive, out of my reach to afford tuition for all three kids… impossible I’m not doing it’ -  I told myself and dismissed the thought of walking in and finding out.  That particular Saturday morning somehow there was no class, the dojang was empty and quiet. Surprisingly, so was the nagging voice in my head!!  Well I don’t recall as to what exactly Alex and I talked about. It was something to the effect of bringing my kids in to meet with him and do an orientation. By the time I reached home, I had forgotten him, his school…and the scheduled orientation. I guess I hadn’t been serious about keeping the appointment. The appointment would lead to commitment, which I wasn’t fully prepared for. But I did mention to my kids about meeting with Alex. They wanted to know if I had remembered noting down the number to reach him at. That’s when I started looking for the card he had given me because the kids wouldn’t leave me alone. Well, its only when my kids are really interested in something that they actually find it…so when I thought I had lost his card and almost gave up looking for it, within less than a minute one of the kids pulled it out from somewhere. That’s when I first looked at the tiny picture on the card….and went WOW!!! That’s the same guy I just talked to…!! He can do THAT!!!!  Why, he could well be meditating standing like this…and not lose his balance or move an inch. (Mr. Mota, please put this picture back on your visiting card!!!) IMG_0170-e1333428845830

 Master Alex Mota, chief instructor at Robinson’s Taekwondo

So, it has been nine months since I entrusted my kids to Alex and his expert teaching skills. He has exceeded my expectations in every way. His classes are fun and challenging and the energy that he brings onto the floor is unmatched. What my kids like the most is he won’t yell or talk disrespectfully to any student no matter how good or bad you are doing. Yet at the same time he is very firm and will let you know what he expects of you. He makes you exceed your own expectations of you, at the least. And he is extremely, immensely, incredibly patient….!!! And always fun to be around.

The best thing about Robinson’s Taekwondo are the Adult…or Family Classes.  The magical interaction that parents have with their children along with a productive, healthy goal which an entire family works on together is just beyond measure. No matter what your age, size, social status, race, religion or color…here you are equal. Or not. Well, the only distinction is the color of your belt, and your rank. The higher your rank, the higher your skills, the greater your humility, the bigger your responsibility. No matter what age you are, your rank makes you more responsible! What a great way to learn and to instill discipline and values into young kids. Here, learning with Mr. Mota, parents set a fine example for their kids with their own commitment to Taekwondo. I don’t know if anybody else recognizes or realizes the opportunity one gets from learning in a fun, relaxed, committed environment like this…I think it is incredible. One only gets stronger, skilled, responsible, disciplined, focused, healthier, more confident, more patient. Well, this part is not that magical, you really have to work on it if you’re starting Martial Arts late in life…but if you have the intention and the right attitude, anything is possible. The right thing to do is start somewhere. And start with the right instructor, the right place.

Well, need I say more about how I feel about my decision to walk into this dojang one Saturday morning???

Or I do…because I couldn’t sit for an hour and just watch my kids take class for long. Mr. Mota’s energy was so compelling I wished I could get on the floor with my kids. I still wish I could learn to move like him. He is so swift, graceful, powerful and has so much control over his body. As a dancer, I would give anything to have that. Well, that’s what took me to join class.

There’s not a single bone in my body that doesn’t feel grateful to him for motivating me, encouraging and inspiring me to do my best even when I could not do a single push up…can not repay him for the opportunity he has provided me and my family. I really can’t put my finger on it and say its this one thing but Mr. Mota, you gave the child in me something my father had taken away when he must’ve been your age and I was this little girl, really really young.  It’s this safe, healthy, respectful, nurturing environment for growth - something I wish for every child to have at home, their schools and learning centers. And I wish that every child has the opportunity to learn Martial Arts from an awesome instructor like you.

My acknowledgments to Grandmaster Clinton Robinson who has trained Mr. Mota for the past 20 yrs and is the owner of Robinson’s Taekwondo which has many other locations in Northern California.

Forced Parenting – who’s fault is it?

Young women in the US are known to play the pregnancy game on their boyfriends to get them to marry and then make them pay support if they happen to separate. When the guy isn’t ready for a baby, why force it on them? And if the girl wants a baby, why ask the man for support? If its the girl’s decision to keep the baby, she should have the resources to support herself and the baby.

Men are not a blank cheque you can cash any time you like, and your parents are done with raising kids…have some self respect and treat your loved ones respectfully!! Respect their time, resources, values and opinions. Respect your own body. Give a thought to the kind of life a baby might want to have vs the kind of life you are able to provide…! Build a steady, strong foundation for yourself so you don’t have to depend on a court ordered cheque…

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So, my 13 yr old recently confirmed his ‘status’ as ‘taken’. He was the only one in his group of friends that was still single. Oh c’mon dude, how can you not have a girlfriend while your friends are going through the pain? It’s a lot of work. I want nothing of it. He would say. A year later, there he is. Fallen into the golden pit of peer pressure, happy to fit in.  

I say, now what? Its not that I have problems with my children dating. Dating is fun, love is a warm, fuzzy, confused feeling at 13…it doesn’t have to be serious. Kids can learn while making mistakes. But there are those mistakes that alters lives. Not just one but many at a time. And its just that I’m concerned.

I’m not going by any survey, this is my own observation of my friends and their acquaintances, my kid’s friends, co-workers and their immediate family – people I may not know but mostly hear about on a daily basis.
 

 So, at least 6 out of 10 girls in the US that began dating at or before the age of 13 will get pregnant in the next 2-6 yrs. At least 3 will go ahead and have a baby. Most boys will have nothing to do with the girls at that point.

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Boys that stick out with their partners through the pregnancy will stand high chances of providing a court ordered ‘child support’ until the child turns 18, at some point in the future. See, a guy that decides to stick out with his girl is too easy to use, abuse and manipulate. I know the same goes for girls and we harp about girls being the victim all the time. But the truth is boys/men and babies get abused all the time as well and no one talks about it.

It bothers me because I see all these people suffer at various levels. The men are made to provide support for their babies they didn’t want to have in the first place. And if they form a bond with their baby and then fall out with their girlfriend for any reason, its always the mother that gets more time with the child.

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Most of these girls are not even ready to be mothers yet…they are working, or studying simultaneously to maintain a steady income, at the end of the day they want to have a life….so then, they date different men…bring these boyfriends home…smoke, drink, party!

And what happens to the baby? Well, you may ask what are grandparents for? And I say, are you really kidding me? Is it really that simple? I know some of these grandparents, and I see how they get manipulated, used and their time and resources completely abused by the endless demands of their children. Its like these kids refuse to grow up. It makes me really sad ‘cuz I happen to know of the fun retirement plans these people had before they were forced into playing the role of parents to their grandchildren.

Can someone shake these girls real good and ask, is it really worth it? Why not use the time, while you’r still in your teens, to get a good education instead, get financially independent, get some lifelong skills that will support you, should you need it at any time. You got the rest of your life to have fun experimenting with relationships. Set your priorities right. Its really not that difficult.

Picture Courtesy: Google Images

How May I Serve?

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Twenty-five centuries ago in ancient China, Lao-tzu said there were four virtues. If you live them—if you live in a place of God-consciousness—the universe will give you God-consciousness. If you live in a place of ego-consciousness, though, the universe will give you more of that.

One virtue is reverence for all of life. You revere all life. You never kill, you never harm, you never wish harm, and you never have thoughts of harm directed toward yourself or others. Another virtue is natural sincerity, which is manifested as honesty. Just be honest with who you are. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. Don’t be a phony. Walk your talk. That’s how God works, so doing it is emulating how Source works. The third virtue is gentleness, which manifests as kindness toward all others.

The fourth virtue, which is relevant here, is supportiveness. If you say to the universe, “Gimme, gimme, gimme,” which is what a lot of the work around the law of attraction says because of a misinterpretation, then the universe gives you back what you offered out. You get more “gimme, gimme, gimme.” “Gimme” means you don’t have enough. You have a shortage. The universe just keeps giving you more shortage because of what you’re thinking and saying.

If, on the other hand, you say to the universe again and again, “How may I serve? How may I serve? How may I serve?” and you live a life of constancy reflecting that principle, the universe will respond back, “How may I serve you?”

- Wayne Dyer

Thanks to the source of this article:  http://www.drwaynedyer.com/articles/you-are-god-an-in-depth-conversation-with-dr-wayne-dyer

 

A blessing!

In the past 6 yrs of independent living, writing a blog has given me just the kind of company I needed. It’s been my friend, it has found me friends, it has fetched me peace…it’s given me something to do when I felt like doing nothing. It made me feel useful at a time when I had almost dug a hole big enough to bury myself in.

I didn’t feel like talking yet I had so much I wanted to say.  I wasn’t sure if anyone would care to listen as I didn’t care for anyone’s judgement.  Plus I cared less for anyone’s opinion of me. My emotions were running wild and needed an emergency outlet.  I had been a sponge for years bearing the burden of my own weight. It was time to wring it all out of me. It was a painful job. Yet the most fruitful ever.

6 Years Later

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Like a beautiful fertile land looking up at a blue sky laden with springy clouds, I have sprung up anew. I am sowing new seeds. I am weaving new dreams.  I am living a new life. I am happy. More than I have ever been. And it is for good.

I have a lot to thank for…I begin by saying Thank You WordPress!

Pic Courtesy: Google

 

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Love

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A feeling of blessedness pushes through the veins. A sense of calm descends from time to time. The mind wanders from a neutral state to feeling nothing. Love overflows, wanting to pour out from every possible corner, every possible way. … Continue reading

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I am not religious.

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I was born a Hindu. I married a Sikh. I am aware of the norms and practices of both religions.  I love the teachings of all religions but I don’t allow any one religion to bind or define me.  I … Continue reading

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A Happy New Life

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Pic Courtesy : Pinterest

I AM that I AM.

The first and foremost relationship I have is with myself.  What I need most is to know I am a complete being.

I can love another person truly only when I have loved and accepted myself for who I am. I can forgive the faults of another only when I have forgiven my own mistakes. I can see the goodness in another only when I know how good I am. I can trust another person fully only when I have faith in myself. Only when I am no longer afraid to be alone can I cherish togetherness. Only when I am the source of my own happiness, can I be happy being with someone else.

I embrace the New Year with lessons I learnt in the past. 2014 is the beginning of the most beautiful, cherished, happy life filled with undying, unconditional love. In face, each new dawn brings in the same potential. The past moment is gone…the present is all I have. I will give it the best I can.

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God is Silent…

Silence is pure energy, it’s present everywhere…with no beginning, no end, all-permeating…! It’s the language of our soul.

I am back in the learning stages of my life. It’s a bit different now cuz I have to first unlearn the very things I have to prepare to learn next. I am unlearning. And re-learning. Changing beliefs. Or growing out of them. Forming new perceptions…cutting and dissolving boundaries. Limitations. Restrictions. Anything that stops me from feeling happy has to go. Either it has to go, OR I change my belief, my perception of it. And everything – from the air I breathe to the soil I touch with my feet – that grounds me, connects me, nourishes me and declares me  a free spirit- I embrace fully. I feel thankful. I feel blessed for it.

I stop judging. Analyzing. And let everything else be who and what they are. A disagreement, discord, a misjudgement, misunderstanding, a negative thought, anger, jealosy. I acknowledge first. And then I walk past them. And then they no longer exist.

And I speak not one word. In silence, the soul operates, connects, disconnects, rejuvenates…replenishes, thrives.

I am learning Silence.

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