Where families bond together, get strong together

Its been more than a year we have been training at Robinson’s Taekwondo, Arden Arcade center with Master Alex Mota and my kids haven’t once thought of quitting!! I can’t say it enough…there’s nothing like spending time with your child learning something new, practicing together, gaining confidence, health, strength, endurance…more importantly setting an example!! There’s nothing to lose. Accomplishment however small feels good at the end of the day when we are reaching goals together. Since I and my kids have joined thie school, we are living better lives, just doing good in so many ways. Something must be right about this place, don’t you think?

Well last week I was sick and stayed home for a couple days. It was nice to have no one expecting some sort of job done, at home or work. The older kids brought takeouts, the younger ones behaved themselves. The dogs ran like crazy around the house and drove me up a wall but then I try to keep my expectations real and it felt heavenly to be left alone for even a few hours!! I mostly stayed in bed, or in the car when I drove the kids to Taekwondo class. We had a tournament in Reno the following weekend and Jassi had promised me he would go to every class that week. He skips as many days as he attends…wish he would put some more effort.

Its not my usual thing to sit and wait in the car. I would rather be in class but was too tired to even drive back home. So parked outside our studio I watched old and new students walk in with their families for the next class. Everyone lined up on the mat, bowed in, recited the Taekwondo oath and began our usual warm up session. It felt good watching kids and adults blend in together, training, helping each other out….everyone working at different skill levels towards a common goal – a Black Belt!! There’s something very positive, constructive and greatly energizing about that singular thought!!

After class I saw the same faces walk out of the studio…tired, sweaty!! They were happy faces. I saw smiles and hugs. No one came out of the studio angry, disturbed or stressed!!! If for an hour a day, people can leave behind and forget about their worries and just be, then it’s worth it.

I heard a 6 yr old boy hold his mother’s hand, look up and say with a broad smile, ‘ good job Mom!!’ Both he and his mom are at the same belt level, and they do class together couple times a week. He encourages his mom even while in class. What a great kid in the making I say. For a single mom, I know what that means and how that feels. Joining this school is probably one of the best things this mom did for her son and herself.

Mr Mota is definitely doing something right the way he runs the school. He gives Moms and Dads, sisters and brothers and grandparents free uniforms and free classes so they can try out and get a feel of what to expect in a class, with no obligation to join. Sometime back he gave specials to new Moms to get back in shape!! Isn’t that awesome?? Some moms promised to join, took the uniforms and never came back…but Mr Mota doesn’t mind. What I really like is he manages to get everyone in the family – young or old, in uniform at least once!!

He knows what he is doing, he is planting seeds. Not every seed will become a seedling, but then every seed has the potential to be!! And that’s a great vision to have.

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That is not just one adorable kid…that’s 5th Dan Master Alex Mota at the age of 6!!

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Master Alex Mota, chief instructor at Arden Arcade center of Robinson’s Taekwondo.

I applaud and admire Mr Mota for having a vision, a great attitude and the coolest temperament. His students range from the age of 4 to 60 yrs and over, and he treats them all with respect just like a true master would.  Wish he gets all the support and help he needs to bring all his dreams to fruition.

Grateful for love

Love happens. The perfect man/woman walks into your life when you aren’t looking and you get blown away. Just like that your entire world turns topsy turvy. You lose the power to resist or control these feelings that take you by storm, and take over your life.

You slowly fall in love with the feeling of love…even though everything seems so uncertain, it feels beautiful to get drawn to someone completely unknown to you. Someone that walked into your life when you weren’t looking. It feels like being caught in a divine plan which seems to be playing out perfectly.

So does it matter that with time you come to know and realize things aren’t so perfect. The man or woman you found to be so incredibly awesome was perhaps a fragment of your imagination? They were your perception of how they ought to be. Certainly not who they are. Certainly not how they want to be.

So now do you feel caught in a divine plan that’s trying to show you reality?

So do you start questioning your judgement? Does your ability to take decisions about your life, and  people you want to be with seems threatened, challenged? Do you start feeling like a failure? get depressed? curse yourself for being naive, foolish, guilty, vulnerable? Hate for allowing yourself to fall in love as if you never were hurt before?

OR

Do you feel the same love and same racing of your heart every time this person walks in through the door? They just walk right into your heart like they own it?  Do you still allow yourself to fall deeply, madly, incorrigibly in love? (yeah I just wanted to use the word incorrigible!!!!)

And love regardless?

Do you realize may be that’s what the whole divine plan was about in the first place? To make you see that love stands above everything. That’s why you feel so elated when you are in love. Love takes you to the highest, tallest place from where you can see everything, it’s from where all things appear so beautiful, so perfect, so much in alignment.

So you now let go of your attachment with the idea of how a lover, husband, boyfriend, wife, partner, girlfriend should be? And you now embrace these very same people knowing who they are and how much you love them regardless?

And you feel ever so grateful.

The idea of childbirth and getting even with men is when feminism gets on my nerves

Like I don’t condemn any religion but find it hard to hold a conversation with someone religious without getting into an argument….I don’t oppose feminism, at the same time I don’t get feminists or anyone that supports the idea of childbirth being a battleground for women to get even with men. It’s childish to make a man’s presence in a labor room mandatory so he can feel the pain of a woman giving birth. No matter what you do, the pain of childbirth belongs to the mother and the child being born. Nature designed it that way. We should do what we can to ease that pain. If it comforts a woman to have someone by her side, by all means she should have an entire crew of people that she believes might comfort her or make her pain go away. But oh please leave the idea of making a man be present to see his wife helpless and in excruciating pain which he can’t do nothing about in order to make him feel guilty for what he did to her. It is sickening.

Childbirth is when a woman is most vulnerable and at her strongest, most courageous self all at the same time.

Kind of like when men go at war. They are exposed, vulnerable, afraid, hungry, may be wet, cold, sweltering but also their bravest. I have never heard a man say to his wife, you should come with me to war to feel the pain of a bullet tearing through my flesh so you can love me more.

Do I understand things differently I don’t know.

How you are made to feel..

This whole pretension thing just doesn’t work you know…I don’t know how people do it. It just takes the life force out of me. One might wonder…


How hard can it be to pretend to be alone when you are not alone? How difficult can it be to see through the existence of another being completely and live on like you don’t care…? To what lengths can you pretend what you are doing is normal when nothing else has ever felt as abnormal? How long can you carry on without acknowledging there is a problem? What does it take to overlook the fact that you would rather be someplace else and instead focus…just focus on the bigger picture? What is the bigger picture anyway?

When one is so busy pretending to care less about the other, how on earth can one focus on anything but their own selfish self??? And how does it help anyone being in such an unhealthy environment?

If two people really have to pretend that they don’t care about each other should/can anything, like ANYTHING in this world bind them together?

 

(I found this writeup with some old drafts…it’s a rant from the time I was trying to revive a dead relationship. It’s funny how writing helps. It helped me then, it has helped me now to know this was how I was made to feel and this is why I quit trying!!! )

Treat Her Right – A Satire

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No worries if you are now a Canadian, or American, or British, Australian, Egyptian, Chinese, Ugandan, Crimean…doesn’t matter where in the planet you reside, if you’re an Indian man, these tips will always ensure a good marriage to a good Indian girl…:)

1. Never give in to your wife’s demands….well, if you have to, then make it look like it was your choice.

2. Never treat her with much respect, or love or adulation or appreciation. The woman will start dancing over your head man, are you listening….???? Indian women aren’t used to such things anyway. KEEP her in your tight grip. And make it tighter as you go along in your relationship. It will make your relationship stronger and your marriage last longer.

3. Never listen to your wife….OR…pretend like you are not listening. It keeps things fresh between you. She will always feel like she is starting fresh and has a loooong way to get where you will ever start listening. Eventually she will give up on her expectations of you….and treat you like just another object in the house she has to maintain so that it functions properly.

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4. Never do any housework…OR…wait an entire day or even a week to start. She will not have the patience to wait on you again…!!

5. Never explain. Anything. It is giving her too much power over you. Take charge and control over what she does, eats, wears, thinks, says…who she meets with, where she goes. You must protect her, and your family’s honor. Or else how will your children learn about honor and respect, huh?

6. Never let her do the thinking. You need at least one thing to do, right??? Or else she will soon start thinking for you…and you’ll feel useless for life.

7. And if she bothers you with anything else….show her who’s the boss. An occasional slap now and then has never hurt a relationship…in fact it’s been the most effective for years. Or shove her.   Oh well, just do what it takes to calm her down. Make generous use of your strong body. After all, you want to build a long lasting marriage…with a strong foundation, don’t you?

…and don’t worry, when a woman loves, she usually does unconditionally. So no matter what you do, don’t forget she will always love you :)

Picture Courtesy: Pinterest

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My Dojang

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Robinson’s Taekwondo Arden-Arcade Sacramento, California.

The first time I walked in here, a  young man in a white Martial Arts uniform walked up to me and introduced himself as Alex. He had this sense of calm confidence about him and was very soft spoken which is very rarely found in today’s youth. He appeared young enough to be a student but turned out to be the chief instructor of the place. I had been watching his students in class most Saturday mornings right after my dance class next door. Looking through the tall glass windows I would speculate whether to go in or not. My kids had been asking since long to enroll into Martial Arts. But…’It’s so expensive, out of my reach to afford tuition for all three kids… impossible I’m not doing it’ -  I told myself and dismissed the thought of walking in and finding out.  That particular Saturday morning somehow there was no class, the dojang was empty and quiet. Surprisingly, so was the nagging voice in my head!!  Well I don’t recall as to what exactly Alex and I talked about. It was something to the effect of bringing my kids in to meet with him and do an orientation. By the time I reached home, I had forgotten him, his school…and the scheduled orientation. I guess I hadn’t been serious about keeping the appointment. The appointment would lead to commitment, which I wasn’t fully prepared for. But I did mention to my kids about meeting with Alex. They wanted to know if I had remembered noting down the number to reach him at. That’s when I started looking for the card he had given me because the kids wouldn’t leave me alone. Well, its only when my kids are really interested in something that they actually find it…so when I thought I had lost his card and almost gave up looking for it, within less than a minute one of the kids pulled it out from somewhere. That’s when I first looked at the tiny picture on the card….and went WOW!!! That’s the same guy I just talked to…!! He can do THAT!!!!  Why, he could well be meditating standing like this…and not lose his balance or move an inch. (Mr. Mota, please put this picture back on your visiting card!!!) IMG_0170-e1333428845830

 Master Alex Mota, chief instructor at Robinson’s Taekwondo

So, it has been nine months since I entrusted my kids to Alex and his expert teaching skills. He has exceeded my expectations in every way. His classes are fun and challenging and the energy that he brings onto the floor is unmatched. What my kids like the most is he won’t yell or talk disrespectfully to any student no matter how good or bad you are doing. Yet at the same time he is very firm and will let you know what he expects of you. He makes you exceed your own expectations of you, at the least. And he is extremely, immensely, incredibly patient….!!! And always fun to be around.

The best thing about Robinson’s Taekwondo are the Adult…or Family Classes.  The magical interaction that parents have with their children along with a productive, healthy goal which an entire family works on together is just beyond measure. No matter what your age, size, social status, race, religion or color…here you are equal. Or not. Well, the only distinction is the color of your belt, and your rank. The higher your rank, the higher your skills, the greater your humility, the bigger your responsibility. No matter what age you are, your rank makes you more responsible! What a great way to learn and to instill discipline and values into young kids. Here, learning with Mr. Mota, parents set a fine example for their kids with their own commitment to Taekwondo. I don’t know if anybody else recognizes or realizes the opportunity one gets from learning in a fun, relaxed, committed environment like this…I think it is incredible. One only gets stronger, skilled, responsible, disciplined, focused, healthier, more confident, more patient. Well, this part is not that magical, you really have to work on it if you’re starting Martial Arts late in life…but if you have the intention and the right attitude, anything is possible. The right thing to do is start somewhere. And start with the right instructor, the right place.

Well, need I say more about how I feel about my decision to walk into this dojang one Saturday morning???

Or I do…because I couldn’t sit for an hour and just watch my kids take class for long. Mr. Mota’s energy was so compelling I wished I could get on the floor with my kids. I still wish I could learn to move like him. He is so swift, graceful, powerful and has so much control over his body. As a dancer, I would give anything to have that. Well, that’s what took me to join class.

There’s not a single bone in my body that doesn’t feel grateful to him for motivating me, encouraging and inspiring me to do my best even when I could not do a single push up…can not repay him for the opportunity he has provided me and my family. I really can’t put my finger on it and say its this one thing but Mr. Mota, you gave the child in me something I have craved for since I was this little girl, really really young.  It’s this safe, healthy, respectful, nurturing environment for growth – something I wish for every child to have at home, their schools and learning centers. And I wish that every child has the opportunity to learn Martial Arts from an awesome instructor like you.

My acknowledgments to Grandmaster Clinton Robinson who has trained Mr. Mota for the past 20 yrs and is the owner of Robinson’s Taekwondo which has many other locations in Northern California.

How May I Serve?

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Twenty-five centuries ago in ancient China, Lao-tzu said there were four virtues. If you live them—if you live in a place of God-consciousness—the universe will give you God-consciousness. If you live in a place of ego-consciousness, though, the universe will give you more of that.

One virtue is reverence for all of life. You revere all life. You never kill, you never harm, you never wish harm, and you never have thoughts of harm directed toward yourself or others. Another virtue is natural sincerity, which is manifested as honesty. Just be honest with who you are. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. Don’t be a phony. Walk your talk. That’s how God works, so doing it is emulating how Source works. The third virtue is gentleness, which manifests as kindness toward all others.

The fourth virtue, which is relevant here, is supportiveness. If you say to the universe, “Gimme, gimme, gimme,” which is what a lot of the work around the law of attraction says because of a misinterpretation, then the universe gives you back what you offered out. You get more “gimme, gimme, gimme.” “Gimme” means you don’t have enough. You have a shortage. The universe just keeps giving you more shortage because of what you’re thinking and saying.

If, on the other hand, you say to the universe again and again, “How may I serve? How may I serve? How may I serve?” and you live a life of constancy reflecting that principle, the universe will respond back, “How may I serve you?”

- Wayne Dyer

Thanks to the source of this article:  http://www.drwaynedyer.com/articles/you-are-god-an-in-depth-conversation-with-dr-wayne-dyer

 

A blessing!

In the past 6 yrs of independent living, writing a blog has given me just the kind of company I needed. It’s been my friend, it has found me friends, it has fetched me peace…it’s given me something to do when I felt like doing nothing. It made me feel useful at a time when I had almost dug a hole big enough to bury myself in.

I didn’t feel like talking yet I had so much I wanted to say.  I wasn’t sure if anyone would care to listen as I didn’t care for anyone’s judgement.  Plus I cared less for anyone’s opinion of me. My emotions were running wild and needed an emergency outlet.  I had been a sponge for years bearing the burden of my own weight. It was time to wring it all out of me. It was a painful job. Yet the most fruitful ever.

6 Years Later

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Like a beautiful fertile land looking up at a blue sky laden with springy clouds, I have sprung up anew. I am sowing new seeds. I am weaving new dreams.  I am living a new life. I am happy. More than I have ever been. And it is for good.

I have a lot to thank for…I begin by saying Thank You WordPress!

Pic Courtesy: Google

 

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